it's spring. lives are shifting. bodies are in motion. this week, i received three emails stating that friends were leaving their jobs and moving on. i replied to every single one of them with a big fat hooray! i love emails announcing life changes. i am thrilled to hear that my fellow worker bees, so sick of their jobs, have finally mustered up the energy to let it all go. the worries about bills and rent disappear as they realize their mental and physical health are much more important in the long run. quitting jobs is not the only big alteration people are making. justin's considering a new life path. he may be going back to school to test drive an interesting program, usc and ea have concocted together. aaron and ilona along with my sister, kiki, and brother-in-law emil have just bought new homes. everyone is announcing, it's spring dammit!
we're beginning to feel warm air in new york. the past couple of days have been heavenly. for once, we are not freezing in our tribeca studios. it's time for scrubbing clean your hearth and heart. i visited the dentist. all good. i haven't had a cavity in over 20 years now. they tell me i need to floss. they always tell me i need to floss and if i haven't had cavities thus far, i'm going to hold off on this grimy tedious task. which makes me think of wayne. he can simultaneously floss and hold a conversation! the first time i saw this, i must've paused mid-chat. wayne muttered something like, "does this bother you?" and i quickly said, no, fascinated by his amazing mirror-free flossing skills. he has pretty white clean teeth. mine are stained by 2 liters of daily coca cola intake and tobacco. nothing a good bleaching can't fix (how does this work anyway)? i love going to the dentist. always have. when all the supersonic noises are finished, i get cheap thrills running my tongue over my freshly polished teeth.
next stop, the doctor's for an annual check up. blood pressure 90 over 60. i don't understand blood pressure but my nurse says, "good, good" so i assume it is so. once a serious athlete i am now a mushy 30-something with incredible leg muscles that still spring when called upon. i tell my doctor i'm still smoking. she tells me to quit already. i tell her i know i have too but i don't have any other vices (i don't booze) and so i don't mind to mess up my lungs for just a little while longer. on the whole, i am very healthy. all good. sort of.
i'm weighed and for the first time since my college freshman 15, i see the nurse move the heavy metal block on the doctor's scale from 50 to 100 trying to figure out my weight. she pulls the little metal thing across the top bar to the right until i am balanced. i think i subconsciously suck in my gut so that she will stop moving the bar right! she moves it over to 1. i am 101 pounds. i freak a little. this is absurd! i ask her to look at my chart and to tell me what my weight was last year. 97 pounds she says. oh brother. i'm four pounds heavier than my winter weight of last year (my summer weight ranges from 93 - 95 pounds). i know i really shouldn't care. instantly i have images of myself running in one of the 20 pairs of sneakers i own. i see flashes of exercise. i imagine tivo'ing some free yoga television programming. i consider eating vegetarian for two days a week. but then i realize, hell, i'm nearly 32. i'm not obese. i eat right. i live a fairly healthy life. 101 ain't so bad. right? i mean at 4'11", that's pretty good! i knew my jeans were getting tight. alas, can't blame the dryer anymore.
i can't afford a new york gym at the moment. i can't motivate myself to run with alaina and david. they get up at a time on saturday that i didn't even know existed and get home before i've even hit my second cycle of REM sleep. i realize i haven't properly and routinely broken a sweat for nearly a decade now (about the same time that picked up my filthy smoking habit).
regarding exercise, i need a teacher. a coach. someone who'll bark at me, be it a dance instructor or crew coach. in high school, i would have either crew or cheerleading practice before the 7:30 bell rang, and then continue my athletic endeavors from 2:30 - 6:30 pm and then attend dance classes from 7:00 - 9:00 pm. some nights ran longer, with football and basketball games to cheer for. i was awarded the presidential physical fitness award every year that i tested, even representing my school in all-county competitions. weekends were filled with dance competitions. have you seen this week's south park tap dancing butters episode? what happened to him happened to me once. i kicked my shoe off in competition and hit a judge but i continued tapping with one shoe. i medalled that day.
during my early college years, i’d find myself on the charles river at 5:30 am with nothing more than two pairs of hines running tights, a couple of sweatshirts and my cold breath smacking my face awake. i know what kind of motivation my preferred exercising regime requires. to borrow a line from the school of rock, “you don't know hardcore unless you live hardcore!” my little body used to be able to do double digit pull ups (real pull ups). today, i’d choke doing two. i used to race mountain bikes in the new england norba circuit. i used to rock climb. i have never done an athletic activity half-assed. my parents house medals and ribbons proving i once had incredible physical prowess. so i rationalize in my old age that i do not want to start exercising again because i will never be as good as i once was.
i'm committed to too many other things at the moment and well, i haven't the energy to...ugh...exercise. so i have thought of a new get fit scheme. because of my fairly new strict living budget, i cannot afford classes or the gym. the solution: when future guests of hotel hp ask if they can bring us anything, i will ask for a gift certificate for a class to the joffrey ballet school, capoeira angola center of mestre joao grande or the american tap dance foundation. it’s a win-win situation. i will exercise so as not to waste the certificates. silvio may still ask for a carton of cigarettes but few friends will ever indulge this request. maybe he will start taking classes with me too! whatever the outcome, you’ll save me the humility of scheduling a liposuction appointment in a couple of years. if you ever want to buy me a present, buy me good health! going to try to get back on track now!